Words worth keeping

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats.

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.

Deadlines just aren't real to me until I'm staring one in the face.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.

The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you’d get dressed up in a nurse’s outfit and give me a sponge bath?" asked Jace."It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath.""As soon as I’m back on my feet, handsome," said Simon."I knew we should have left you a rat.

Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?